Not Today

Well....

I had a little conversation today that made me laugh. I try to laugh often. I try to laugh hard. I try to laugh loud. Embarrasses the hell out of my kids but you know what ? Life is too short to be that anal. I will be anal about other things but making an ass out of myself is not one of them. I will skip down the street if I feel like it. I will howl at the moon for my Brownies. I will shake my money maker whenever the hell I feel like it. I have been through enough crap in my life that I have learned that lesson and learned it well.

One of the other lessons I have been trying to teach myself is positivity. Look for the silver lining. Look for the lesson. Don't let angst be in vain. All that clap trap that gets us through the day. This has been a long damn week and today I don't want to see the positive. Not today.

My week started on Saturday with a sick kid. My daughter is a lover of strep as was her mother. Strep sees us and kicks up it's heels. Strep giggles and says let's party. It started a party in my daughter's throat. Sunday I get a call - my office has had a massive fire and my side of the building has been destroyed. Not mildly charred. Not slighly smokey. Freaking crispy toasted. My computer, my radio, my brand new water jug, my cd's, my pictures, my map, my all - garbage. Landfill. Gonzola. My week progresses. Now we are at Monday and unbeknowst to me the strep party is in full swing. Off to the doctors on Tuesday and we get confirmation that said party animal is at work. Mommy was a bit slow on the pick up apparently. A problem from last week has decided to continue in to this week and if I never see another poinsettia in my life I will be THRILLED. I ended last week being wrongly accused of involving my school in fraud and the fall out continues. If people would just ask questions instead of acting like this is highschool and going all he said, she said the world would be a better place. I hated highschool and now I remember why. All the damn stupid people.

So now I have been at home for the whole week trying to do a job without files, redoing my email contacts, trying to access a phone that has melted and been chucked so I can't get my messages and dealing with not one, but you guessed it two sick children. For the love of all that is good in the world, will someone get me a latte?

I figure this has to be it. After a sucky November and a shaky start to December, this has to be it. But wait ! This is my life so of course this can't be it. While earnestly trying to pay my bills I discover I can no longer access my bank accounts. They have been frozen ! What the sam hell of pile of crap is that you ask ??? Well I asked that too so I called the bank. Well wouldn't you know it ? Someone has decided to give me an early Christmas present by stealing the info off my debit card and trying to wipe out my account. Now my wicked glee is that I have no money to speak of so they've wasted a lot of time for essentially nothing. Sucka ! However, they've also wasted alot of my time as I've had to go to the bank to reset my password and will have access to said bank account tomorrow.

Needless to say I am having a hard time finding the silver lining this week. I do have a couple of things to be grateful for:

1. My son - he will get a proper psycho ed, in my house, on Wednesday morning by a woman with a special needs child. He will be on his medication. She was patient on the phone while I tried to make sure she "gets" him, which she appears to. Rule number 1 - you must GET my son in order to HELP my son and if you don't GET my son then get the hell out of the way for someone who does before I push you down a steep slope. The last psychologist did not get him but I have not been able to get her near said slope. She's damn lucky.

2. My office burned down - I am going to get paid to work at home as much as I can with no penalty other than doing some overtime when I do get an office which seems only fair. I have also been paid to stay home with my sick children and have not had to pay a babysitter nor stress about taking time off work.

3. Laughter - I had the best laugh today when discussing said lack of silver lining. Jess and I were discussing the days when it is hard to find that lining. Today is one of those days. I mentioned that I would like to world to F#@! OFF. She mentioned that she would like the world to lick it between the pockets. I just about fell off my chair laughing. That is perfect. That is concise. It gives clear direction. It succinctly describes the sentiment of this day. Crude, crass but oh so true.

While I do have things to be grateful for and have said the appropriate thank you's to my higher power, I have to say this: to all the people who have screwed with me for the past month - Lick it between the pockets !

Another day I will practice positivity - not today.